perfection.

everyone says...

i have a perfect boyfriend.

he loves me,

he thinks about me all the time,

he puts me first,

he cares about me,

im supposed to be as blissful as heaven.

yet they dont understand.

everyone thinks that im the devil.

i hold a pitchfork, have horns and a forked tail.

what if im the one actually hurt?

no.

to them, im not the one.

im loved totally.

how bout me??

where am i??

im not hurt??

i dont love??

perfection.

prayers.

my dude once sent me this, written by someone:

I dreamt that I went to Heaven and an angel was showing me around. We walked side-by-side inside a large workroom filled with angels.. My angel guide stopped in front of the first section and said, 'This is the Receiving Section. Here, all petitions to God said in prayer are received. '

I looked around in this area, and it was terribly busy with so many angels sorting out petitions written on voluminous paper sheets and scraps from people all over the world.

Then we moved on down a long corridor until we reached the second section

The angel then said to me, ' This is the Packaging and Delivery Section. Here, the graces and blessings the people asked for are processed and delivered to the living persons who asked for them. ' I noticed again how busy it was there. There were many angels working hard at that station, since so many blessings had been requested and were being packaged for delivery to Earth.

Finally at the farthest end of the long corridor we stopped at the door of a very small station. To my great surprise, only one angel was seated there, idly doing nothing. 'This is the Acknowledgment Section,' my angel friend quietly admitted to me.. He seemed embarrassed. 'How is it that there is no work going on here?' I asked.

'So sad,' the angel sighed. 'After people receive the blessings that they asked for, very few send back acknowledgments.'

'How does one acknowledge God's blessings? ' I asked.

'Simple,' the angel answered. Just say, ' Thank you, Lord. '

'What blessings should they acknowledge? ' I asked.

'If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep, you are richer than 75% of this world. If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish, you are among the top 8% of the world 's wealthy.'

'And if you get this on your own computer, you are part of the 1% in the world who has that opportunity. '

'If you woke up this morning with more health than illness ... You are more blessed than the many who will not even survive this day.'

'If you have never experienced the fear in battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation .. You are ahead of 700 million people in the world. '

'If you can attend a place of worship without the fear of harassment, arrest, torture or death you are envied by, and more blessed than, three billion people in the world.. '

'If your parents are still alive and still married ..you are very rare. '

'If you can hold your head up and smile, you are not the norm, you're unique to all those in doubt and despair. '

wow.

hit me there.

then i experienced another similar incident this past week.

in segi(those in segi should know lah) it is pathetically hard to get an A -.-"

why?? cuz A=90 marks and above

shocking right??

hahaha but i did score lah for the past three terms Xp

which my beloved fiona and sue zai reminded me on our trip to KL (see fiona's blog)

they said that i was lucky cuz some courses that i took right after them i could score cuz of some bizarre thing or weird lecturers or other.

which made me think. deeply.

my Father apparently had not deserted me AT ALL. no matter that for that period of time i couldn't FEEL him. i searched for him but somehow still i felt a gap, a barrier between us. but apparently HE did not feel so =)

the light-heartedness that overwhelmed me was powerful right then.

prayers, he does hear.

i shall not fear with him at my side. =)

which then brings me to incident number two, happening a couple of days later.

"66222: pls see ms jenny"

yorrrr..why so ma fan wan?? spoil my day =(

sue zai: "good days does not last."

HAHAHAHA.. why?? cuz we KNEW that the little snitch buzzing around our heads the past few months has been confirmed now. OUR SCHOLARSHIP HAS RUNG THE BELL TO SAY BYEBYE. X.X

so we dragged our feet to see her. i SO did not want to see her =(

she gave the 3 of us (fiona, sue zai, me) a letter each, asking us to sign at a piece of paper confirming that yes, we did see and managed to read the letter even as rebellious as we are. (that's how it read to me anyway Xp)

then comes the surprise: that was only the first warning letter @.@

the past year wasn't counted @x@

and we still have 2 more chances before we totally fail it @o@

so okay, wow. WOW.

up-side: phew, can explain nicely to mummy now so she won't nag me anymore

down-side: shucks blardy duties again x.x

plus i gave joseph a nice heart attack when i informed him too. HAH!

HE is with me, and in HIM i shall trust, and never fear.

never underestimate the power of prayers.

me.

there are some people who say that

"im me. you cant change anything about me."

there are also some that say

"okay. i'll change. for you"

others are right in the middle

"oh really??" change for a few days, then go back to their old ways.

people are complicated. this is an understatement Xp

seems like there's a story behind everything you see and do.

you may think that everything is simple, then people make things hard for you pulak.

("i dont like this about you..change this..change that...change every blardy thing")

so you get more conscious, thinking bout every single thing and every one's feelings

("why cant you just be yourself??change this..change that..bla change bla")

so you BE yourself

("why cant you be more like xx yy zz?? cant you bla shit bla urine")

GET IT??

or you be like sue zai (Xp)

("maybe not everything is as simple as you think leh..maybe ppl got reason wan leh..)

which brings you back to "so you get more conscious...bla bla" up there

seeeeee??its a never ending story.

so, in conclusion, im going to be MYSELF =)

hoho. so people who get trampled on the way, sorry~ who ask you not to get out of my way~Xp

p.s. starers sucks. (instead of stalkers who stalk, we have starers who stare Xp)

i personally think that they have some psychological prob (well, i AM taking general psychology now Xp), that to get all the abuse and pain and torture out of their minds and memories they have to STARE. yeah. just blardy staring.

victims?? GIRLS. those more prone to fall victim?? GIRLS walking at the sidewalks alone.

i think it must give them some kind of blardy satisfaction to be able to wolfwhistle or "ah moi?? ah moi??"-ing at some poor little soul and see them scurrying off as fast as they can.

-.-"

blardy you!!

we, as girls, are not able to retaliate or show some "nice" finger gestures (that i would blardy give a few fingers in return to show to them for) because what would this get us in return???

more wolf whistling -.-

more "ah moi ah moi"-ing -.-

i think they are more encouraged when we do that. SIGH.

barbie Q.

had a barbeque at my dude's place.

three guys and six girls. Xp

wow nearly all the guys are taken adi =)

not really in the mood to blog so i shall just mumble a bit.

was quite fun especially for the drinking game james intro-ed to us =)

went after class then went on till after ten.

oh and the 1, 2, 3 story i posted before this??forget it =)

all's well that ends well.

time.

days are starting to get blurred as time passes by for me.
i dunno how, i dunno why.
maybe because i spend days doing nothing of much importance. =)

i find myself not remembering what i even ate for lunch, what was i doing then, what was i up to for the past week.
hanging out with friends, staying distant from The Creator, loitering about,
i guess this is a just too mundane lifestyle for me.

some people may say this kind of lifestyle is cool
and i agreed up to the past few weeks when i started having revelations of my own while examining and analyzing my life.
it's meaningless.

well,
i guess this means changes =)
for the best i hope!
god give me strength.

cheers.

first day of class+satay for dinner=blardy good

welllll~today is officially the FIRST DAY OF CLASS!!

anyway before class i went to hang out at one u with my dude~

[fiona and sue went for work and i felt terribly lonely =(]

anyway now that i permed my hair i find that i tend to stare at the mirror for more times and for longer periods. sigh sigh sigh. blardy awful to tend to my hair lah~its like weeds. you have to invest time and effort to maintain it =( too bad its so nice to look at Xp

well, good things come with a price.

so, im proud to announce that i attended to my hair for approximately one hour or longer, since i had so much time to do so in the morning. my dude lah~people wake up early he go wake up one hour later then this metro had to bathe and "ban leng leng" all~bahh!!

so, one hour. at least.

then we hung out at one u, ate "old oil ghost ghost", okay la it was "i love YOO!!".

weird name but still. i like the porridge =)

then when 3 pm came finally we can drag off sue and fiona (they're working there) to coll for our 3.30 om class =)

which was awesome and boring.

awesome people. boring lecturer.

after that for dinner we again used up around one hour to doodle and think of a place to go for dinner x.x

finally i had the brilliant idea of choosing someone to decide where to go every time we go out instead of dealing to everyone's needs. (less people less needs to fulfill mah)

we went for satay at uptown.

the food there was so-so. anyway maybe its because im kajang-kia so harder to satisfy me =)

but seriously. the food there. the satay wasn't hot from the grill, the rice had bugs sticking to it, the cucumber looked like it was yesterday's leftovers, only chicken and beef available, so yeah.

so-so =)

anyway some random pics =)

anyway this is something sue gave me after she came back from penang =) needs some taking used to but is awesome as everything is pitch dark so i can sleep nicely plus if i hear anything weird i cant see anything when i open my eyes!! BLARDY AWESOME =)

*BLECH

brother sister relationship??!!

yeah.

as if.

i mean. it's likely, right?? maybe its likely that i am prejudiced...

as likely as the government is to give free money.

yeah. that's exactly what i mean. the possibility is like, ZILCH. NIL. DOUBLE "OH". NONE.

do they actually think we're blind?? or that lightning suddenly struck us and we "miraculously" possessed an IQ equivalent to an elephant?? or that maybe, just maybe, we like to twiddle our thumbs and stare at the ceiling while the "love" and heat are all written on the culprits' faces?? *BLECH

exactly that. yeah. blech.

HEY, we KNOW that you are texting each other across the table.

we KNOW that something is going on that's not supposed or meant to be.

we KNOW that all that extra touching and snuggling is going on. yeah. you guys don't pull in your hands fast enough -.-".

we KNOW that lies and scandals are there.

we KNOW what brother sister relationships are like. and it's definitely not like that.

*BLECH

if you want her, get rid of the extra luggage. maybe that's the appeal for you. doing stuff behind "her" back is more life threatening and risky, since so much is at stake. if you have no intention of ridding the dust, GET LOST.

if you want him, make sure the one you want is actually AVAILABLE. yeah. know how to spell that?? it means the person you want has the green light blinking there. if you know you're not wanted as third person in the relationship, SCOOT.

since veiled and nicely chosen sarcasm doesn't seem to do much, maybe this will. WAKE UP.

brother sister relationship??!!

yeah.

as if.

i mean. it's likely, right?? maybe its likely that i am prejudiced...

as likely as the government is to give free money.

yeah. that's exactly what i mean. the possibility is like, ZILCH. NIL. DOUBLE "OH". NONE.

do they actually think we're blind?? or that lightning suddenly struck us and we "miraculously" possessed an IQ equivalent to an elephant?? or that maybe, just maybe, we like to twiddle our thumbs and stare at the ceiling while the "love" and heat are all written on the culprits' faces?? *BLECH

exactly that. yeah. blech.

HEY, we KNOW that you are texting each other across the table.

we KNOW that something is going on that's not supposed or meant to be.

we KNOW that all that extra touching and snuggling is going on. yeah. you guys don't pull in your hands fast enough -.-".

we KNOW that lies and scandals are there.

we KNOW what brother sister relationships are like. and it's definitely not like that.

*BLECH

if you want her, get rid of the extra luggage. maybe that's the appeal for you. doing stuff behind "her" back is more life threatening and risky, since so much is at stake. if you have no intention of ridding the dust, GET LOST.

if you want him, make sure the one you want is actually AVAILABLE. yeah. know how to spell that?? it means the person you want has the green light blinking there. if you know you're not wanted as third person in the relationship, SCOOT.

since veiled and nicely chosen sarcasm doesn't seem to do much, maybe this will. WAKE UP.

after.

and so, the great battle of waiting-for-my-fringe-to-grow-long commerces again =)

salons.

i hate salons.

god knows why.

probably due to the fact that people go in the way they are and come out differently. freaky.

or maybe because of the immense pressure and tension i feel when im there.

or is it because i dont like total strangers touching my hair.

anyway whatever the reason, IM GOING THERE LATER!!! x.x

sigh. if only i can fix my hair without the need of going there...

okay, all these misgivings are due to "incidents" that happened in the past.

like the time when i asked to cut my fringe and they cut it so short i could barely SEE my fringe..

horror...total horror...

it was months before i grew it out.

and then...

my fringe grew long and i went back to the same place to fix it..

AND THE SAME BLARDY THING HAPPENED AGAIN X.X

(why god, why meeeeeeee)

so as a conclusion i tool one year of humiliation for me to get blardy wits and stop people before they cut my fringe too short.

and also asking too many questions before people cut my hair to make sure they know and they've memorized clearly what i want. =)

which is why sistah is going with me today.

*HINT: always get people to go with you to salons =)

she wants to cut her hair to shoulder length. clasic bob. will tell later how ugly she looks.

HAHAHAH!!!

CHEERS,

eve.

*fingers crossed

update update update.

okay.

what's new in my life =)

spent the past few days loitering at my house.

the new year's eve was spent in church as always, where we had our watch service, which was quite good and quite a lot of people came. it's like mass before christmas, something like that =)

then was dragged off to help mummy at her kinder, and i hereby proclaim that i hate using microsoft word!!!(i know, it's such a simple application but i cant seem to master it, i clicked until my left arm was sore-ITS POSSIBLE!!)

also helped her to paint the walls of her classroom, "to make it more cheerful"-quoting mummy x.x

here are some pics of our "masterpiece"-me, sistah and mummy!!

had our cousin from penang-peijia aka lynette from penang over for a couple of hours.

went for lunch then came back to our place which i admit i did not pay her much attention due to NEOPETS!!

which brings me to my current obsessions-NEOPETS!!!

ahahahahaha!!

my pet is a very very awesomely cute yellow KACHEEEEEEK!!!!

and i also got my dude and james and june to gila sama-sama with me, as we are all bored with our hols. (one more week till college starts!!)

and coming on im gonna curl my hair!!!! HAHAHAHA happy-nyer..have been wanting to do so for ages and finally i can do it!! here's an image of the hairstyle i wanna do~

not this color obviously, brown ^^

okay, that's all =)

update update update.

NEW YEAR 2010

some people hate

some people love

some people are procrastinators

some people act now

some people love to point fingers

some people love to extend their hands

some people question every answer

some people have an answer to every question

some people hate to lose an argument

some people love to win hearts

some people want a change

some people want to be the change

some people are color blind

some people are blind except to their own color

some people are proud to belong to their race

some people take pride in belonging to the human race

this new year, it is not about who's perfect and who's not.

it is about sharing the love and seeing the perfections in the imperfections. =)

got this from a newspaper in the star on 1st of jan =)